Broken

I wrote this poem sometime ago in 2007. Nothing at that time in my life was provoking me to write such a poem. Today I publish this in my blog journal, because I know there is someone out there grieving so much that it feels like the pain will never end. Grief can come from life’s obstacles, death, and emotional turmoil. Greif can test our faith and belief. Pain, heartache, and struggle is suppose to make us stronger- yet we know this- we are still in pain. The Broken Parent is not only about a parent who may have lost a child, or who may have a child struggling- but the word parent in this poem refers more to a Caretaker. As you know, we can be caretakers of our spouses, family members and friends. What do you do when you feel like all hope is lost? What do you do when you have no one to turn too? What do you do when you are in pain and anguish but everyone looks toward you for insight and hope?

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The Broken Parent
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Remember the story about Job in the Bible?
How he received bad news after bad news?
Servants after servants came to him with bad news---
Well, today I feel like Job --

I have no rest-no peace-just a broken spirit-
My mind wonders back and forth-
The walls feel like they are caving in-
Through my grief and my pain, I don't know where to begin-
My God, will it ever end?
I’ve been through hell and back….
I have had more bad days than good.
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To you reading this; you may think-
'It’s life--- you have your ups and downs.'

But I tell you this;
Until you
Go through the pain and the grief and the obsticals of life-
I do not want your voice of solitude or sound-
Don't speak for me.
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Remebering Job- he questioned why he was born----
And today I question the same as I morn.
Job was grieving….
And I am grieving too-
My heart has been torn and shattered so much -

I don’t know if it will be able to mend .
So today I cry out to you Lord.

I cry out to you from the highest hill top-
I cry out to you from Mt. Everest-
I cry out to you oh God!

I cry out to you-

Please give me rest!

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Job -
He never cursed God….
Nor shall I….
Job was faithful through and through….
Even though I am broken, I can still feel you.
I am here Lord on Bended Knee-

Can you see me?

I am trying to pray-

But No words are coming out-

Where do I begin?
Instead of praying,

I decide to rest my head on your lap, and let you comfort me.
I whimper to you in pain –

Lord, just help me.

Give me Peace.

I let Go- and I Cry.
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The happy ending with Job is he was Bless times 10.
But Lord, When is my end?