I hesitated before I posted this- You know somethings people can read too much into- and the poem below is just a poem that kind-of popped in my head. I'm in a creative mood today- poetry is stuck in my head.

I had a motive when I wrote this - but was not going to publish it but as usaual I can't let my writings go unread! (laugh)

When I wrote this my mind was actually on a friend of mind.... but.......... well............ Inspiration kicked in.

Let's just leave it as that.

Incomplete Love

Your touch gives me butterflies in my stomach-
Your kiss makes me weak to my knees-
Your voice –
When I hear you speak,
Is like the fall wind blowing the leaves.
We drifted apart by the season of change-
Then raked backed together again by an unseen force-
Some how we keep meeting –
Either by hurt or pain-
Or life mistakes that were made-
But like the leaves,
We changed.
You are red-
I am brown-
You’re an oak-
I’m a maple-
Our differences-
We can not see them as other may-
We continue to love hard-
We continue to love for today.
**************************
I beg and plead for your love.
As I am
Addicted to your touch,
Your kiss,
Your embrace-
Is all so intoxicating.
You are constantly in my thoughts.
It scares me to know that you are always on my mind-
How do I get you out of my head?
How do I tell my heart to stop?
We are more than lovers –
We are more then friends-
We met in another life time
Loving each other until the bitter end.
Now that I have you in this lifetime,
I don’t want let you go.
We may fight,
We may bicker,
We may detest each other motives,
But the bond we share as
You tug at my heart,
The bond is stronger each day we are apart-
The only problem is –
I belong to another.

Broken

I wrote this poem sometime ago in 2007. Nothing at that time in my life was provoking me to write such a poem. Today I publish this in my blog journal, because I know there is someone out there grieving so much that it feels like the pain will never end. Grief can come from life’s obstacles, death, and emotional turmoil. Greif can test our faith and belief. Pain, heartache, and struggle is suppose to make us stronger- yet we know this- we are still in pain. The Broken Parent is not only about a parent who may have lost a child, or who may have a child struggling- but the word parent in this poem refers more to a Caretaker. As you know, we can be caretakers of our spouses, family members and friends. What do you do when you feel like all hope is lost? What do you do when you have no one to turn too? What do you do when you are in pain and anguish but everyone looks toward you for insight and hope?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Broken Parent
**********
Remember the story about Job in the Bible?
How he received bad news after bad news?
Servants after servants came to him with bad news---
Well, today I feel like Job --

I have no rest-no peace-just a broken spirit-
My mind wonders back and forth-
The walls feel like they are caving in-
Through my grief and my pain, I don't know where to begin-
My God, will it ever end?
I’ve been through hell and back….
I have had more bad days than good.
**********
To you reading this; you may think-
'It’s life--- you have your ups and downs.'

But I tell you this;
Until you
Go through the pain and the grief and the obsticals of life-
I do not want your voice of solitude or sound-
Don't speak for me.
********
Remebering Job- he questioned why he was born----
And today I question the same as I morn.
Job was grieving….
And I am grieving too-
My heart has been torn and shattered so much -

I don’t know if it will be able to mend .
So today I cry out to you Lord.

I cry out to you from the highest hill top-
I cry out to you from Mt. Everest-
I cry out to you oh God!

I cry out to you-

Please give me rest!

********
Job -
He never cursed God….
Nor shall I….
Job was faithful through and through….
Even though I am broken, I can still feel you.
I am here Lord on Bended Knee-

Can you see me?

I am trying to pray-

But No words are coming out-

Where do I begin?
Instead of praying,

I decide to rest my head on your lap, and let you comfort me.
I whimper to you in pain –

Lord, just help me.

Give me Peace.

I let Go- and I Cry.
********
The happy ending with Job is he was Bless times 10.
But Lord, When is my end?

living free

Free from guilt
Free from the past
Free from Harm
Free from Fear
Free from being a victim
And
Free to become a victor!
Finally I am Free and Trusting God.
At first, it was so hard for me.
Hard for me to let it all go
And
Be Free.
I had gotten used to the idea of being
Beaten down, crushed, and dreams vanquished.
It was familiar.
And I didn’t want to change.
It gave me substance.
It gave me excuses.
It allowed me to cast blame on everything and everyone.
It allowed me to be irresponsible and unreliable.
I had an excuse
To yell at my husband,
To yell at my kids,
To come in late at work,
To not attend Church.
To cry all night long,
To sing the deceitful poor me pity me song.
I was raped.
I was abused.
I was mistreated.
I was used.
I was washed up.
I was cried out.
I was mentally mistreated.
And
Satan used all of the above to his advantage.
I just sat there and let him have his way.
I allowed him to
Come into my heart.
To come into my home.
To come between my family and friends.
I allowed Satan
To take away my joy.

I allowed Satan to take away my light.
I had refused
To take refuge in Christ.
I had accepted that this was me.
I had accepted to be bind in hate and anger.
I had become a person that lacked victory.
I allowed Satan to tell me that
I was not meant to be free.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day….
I found my self tired and exhausted.
On the verge of loosing my mind.
On the verge of loosing my family.
On the verge of loosing it all.
I was tried of fighting, tired of running.

Tired of living.

I wanted to end it all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But in the midst of my pain

I heard a strong yet gentle voice whispering in my ear

"Don't end it yet."
“Try me”
“Cast Your Cares and I will set you Free.”

So I tryed HIM for myself.
And
I declared PEACE!
Peace on my home, Peace on my Marriage, Peace on my kids, Peace on my friends,
Peace on my Job…
PEACE!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Thank God I am healed!
Thank you Lord, for dieing on the cross for me.
Thank you for washing me in your blood.
By your stripes
I am healed!
Healed from Every sin!
Healed from Every mistake!
Healed from Depression!
Healed from Addiction!
Healed from Poverty!
Healed from Affliction!
I casted my cares!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is all GONE!
Everything that anyone has ever done to me….
Gone!
Thank You God!
It's all gone!
The pain
GONE!
The hurt
GONE!
The guilt
GONE!
I let go of the past.
I let go of the victim mentality.
I hold on to God’s grace and mercy.
Praise God, I have been set Free!
Free of what my mother said, free of what my father said.
Free of what anyone has done to me.
Free from all the guilt.
Free from all the pain.
Thank You Lord for giving me another Chance!
Thank you oh Lord for giving me back

My Light.

My Life.
My Hope.
My Faith.

My Family

My Friends.

My Marriage.

Praise to the Glory on High, I am HEALED!
Thank You, Oh Lord, for giving me your Love!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ahhhh
Finally.
I am free.
Finally.
I am Me.
Finally.
I have let it all go.
Finally.
I can Praise the Lord!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Psalm 150:1-6
{150:1} Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power.
{150:2} Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.
{150:3} Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.
{150:4} Praise him with the tumbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.
{150:5} Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.
{150:6} Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

Strangers Meet

Jessica.
I will never forget your name.
I saw you today outside in the cold rain.
Tears in your eyes
Head down in shame.

For some reason, I could feel your heart-ache and
Your pain.
I didn't know why you sat there and cry
Nor did I ask you why.
But I was compelled to tell you that I care.
Care how you feel.
Care about your tears.
Care about your sorrows.
Care about your fears.

Our souls connected.
Unaware I was being directed by God.
I parked where you sat.
You crying on the cold wet concrete.

In my wildest imagination, I never thought this was how we would meet.
I parked my car.
and there you sat.
I said hello.
You said "Hello" - so very low and cold.
I walked into the store-my soul heavy and weary.
I Headed to the greeting card section.
I never thought about the price or getting back to work.
My mind focus on you-
Looking for a card that could numb
your hurt.
There I found a card with a wounded cat.
I jotted down you something from my heart and headed back.
Outside
you still sat there on the cold wet concrete.
Now on your cell phone.
Your hands trembled-
Your voice sad.
In that moment I knew we was destined to meet.

I handed you the card-letting you unaware that it was from me.
I glanced at your name tag.
It read
Jessica.
You open the purple envelope eagerly to see.
Your eyes began to light up.
A smile came across your face.

I got into my car.
I left quickly before you could figure out who the card was from.
I left.
Keeping us strangers.
Keeping it simple.
Keeping it plan.
I left.
Your name now logged forever in my brain.
Jessica.